Meat Man Mania
by UgeheuerInDasFinsternis
Summary: Alfred was invited over to Gilbert's to hang when he isn't there, so, stalking his computer, he finds a game that no matter what he does, he cannot beat. Nor can any of the people he's invited. The hell is up with this game! Rated for language.


__My friend and I came up with this while playing Super Meat Man! The game is hard as crap, well at least it was for us... So, this was born!

Disclaimer: We do not own Hetalia in any way shape or form!

Enjoy!

* * *

_Knock Knock_

Ludwig answered the door with a huff, apron on and spatula in hand_,_

"Ja, Vat do you want Alfred?"

"Yo man is Gilbert around?"

"Nein, he went out to get some more beer."

"ah, ok, Yo bro, you mind if I chill in you basement till he shows up again?"

"Go right ahead"

"Cool thanks man." Alfred made his way to the basement, slinking down the steps he sighed, "I am already bored." He slunk over to the couch, Glancing around he noticed Gilberts computer lying on the coffee table. "hell yeah I am TOTALLY going on the net." Grabbing the laptop up, he snickered, flipping up the lid he giggled. A box flickered to life, it required a password

"Hum" Alfred thought to himself."Oh I know!" And he began to type in the words _im awesome. _The computer blinked to life allowing him access. "typical Gil for ya."

He searched the internet for something to do. He opened up his Facebook, nothing new to report, His tumblr was very dry. And his email was full of spam. An ad for a game had popped up though in one of the spam letters.

"Meat man huh, intresting." Alfred opened the engine, starting up the download process he waited, finally a bright flash of white erupted on the screen.

_**Welcome to the world of meat man! Let the adventure begin!**_

"easy shit." Alfred exclaimed, whooping as he started it up. He easily got through levels one through seven as easily as he had assumed. But then things got a little tricky on level eight. But he got through it, level nine was a pain in the ass, but he owned that bitch easy. Now level ten was the one he was having major trouble on. Like major. He began to get frustrated, grunting angrily whenever his icon exploded into a bloody mess.

"God damn it!" He exclaimed for the tenth time. "What the fuck!" Alfred reached in his pocket and called Arthur, who answered on the second ring,

"_Yes Alfred what is it?"_

"Hey Iggy, I really need your help."

"_I cannot really help at the moment, I am quite busy today."_

"You reading Wuthering heights for the upteenth time man?"

"_Whatever, where are you? I'll be over in a moment."_

"I'm at Gils house, hurry up yo!" He clicked the receiver off, returning to the game he tried once again, yelling frustrated when he couldn't meet the standards of the game. Arthur soon arrived, sitting on the couch next to Alfred he sighed,

"So what is the problem Twit?"

"I need your help on this videogame Iggy, Will you help me?" Willingly he agreed, taking over the controls of the bloody heap of meat that they called meat man, Arthur grunted furiously as he tried for the fifth time.

"What the bloody hell is wrong with this game! It is utterly unbeatable. Alfred you should have called Japan, he knows all about these types of contraptions." Taking his advice he whipped out his cell phone and called Japan. Fifteen minutes later Japan arrived, looking from the brit to the odd American he sighed.

"What is the problem America-san?"

'I need help on this videogame man."

"Oh that is very easy. Of course I will help you." Japan sat silently ushering out swift fingers to the simple controls, he closed his eyes and sighed every time the small icon hit a wall of spikes. After seven tries he gently set the laptop on the table, getting up he moved to an armchair across the room.

'I'm sorry America-san, I cannot contain my patience for this game." Once again America took out his cell phone, he called Canada. His brother answered the phone instantly

"YO Matt whats up, I need your help."

"_With what exactly?"_

"A videogame. Please Mattie, I'll love you forever."

"_Yeah, alright fine, but I'm bringing France."_

"Sweet! See you soon." Matthew had arrived with francis and Ivan in tow.

"What the hell! Why did you bring the commie bastard?"

'Behave Al, he wants to help, Right Ivan."

"Da! Only here to help."

"Alright then why don't you have a go then chap?" Arthur said looking from the Canadian to the Russian. Matthew stepped forward, sitting down next to the Brit he tapped at the controls repeatedly, over and over again, Matthew never took his eyes off of the screen, he had tried ten times until he finally had slammed a fist into the keyboard and stomped off. The Russian sat on the floor in front of the couch, gingerly tapping at the controls, he continued to do so, click clacking away, until he calmly got up and went upstairs.

"You France, you wanna try!"

"No thank you, Alfred."

"COME ON! You have to!" Alfred whined, the Frenchman sighed and set to work on the game,

"Mon Dieu, je déteste ce jeu putain ce que l'enfer!" Matthews eyes widened at the horrible language France was using. France began to try and shut down the game, being flustered and quite impatient with the death of his small meaty hero.

"NO!" Alfred screeched, running over to the computer and tugging it out of the Frenchman's grasp. 'Are you insane! I didn't even save my game!" Francis sighed and moved away from the deranged teen, who was now grasping at the screen for dear life, hugging it to his chest. He had a maniacal look in his eyes as he looked at each person, suddenly a sing song voice echoed over the strenuous pitch of fear and loathing.

'What are you all up to?"

"Feli? Wanna try a game?" Alfred tried knowing he would say no.

"Sure! I bet I do really good on it!" Feliciano then went over to the game and began his quest, dying every time for ten tries in a row, Alfred shook his head, and sighed, talking away the computer once again. Footsteps sounded on the stairs and they all turned, Gilbert, beer in hand walked down the stairs not paying attention as to who all was there, Looking up he jumped once he noticed the group of people standing in his basement,

"What the hell? Why are all of you in my Man cave huh? I was only expecting Alfred." Gilbert made his way to the couch, punching Arthur to the side he plopped in the middle staring at each in turn,

"I'm surprised all of you even fit down here! It usually feels so claustrophobic. What you got there Al?" Gilbert said, his short attention span kicking in. Leaning forward he looked at the game that sat in stillness on his computer screen.

"Meat man huh? I've heard of this game." Slowly he figured out the controls, making his way through the level, he reached the goal in one try. "Easy shit." He replied leaning back, Alfred only stood up abruptly, arms raised in astonishment,

"THE FUCK!"

'What man?" Gilbert chuckled at the sudden reaction from the blonde. Popping open his beer, he relaxed into his sofa, flicking on the T.v. Ed,edd,and eddy started flashing across the screen. Alfred snatched the remote from the albinos hands and flicked off the monitor.

'The hell man! I was watching that!"

'How can you just waltz in here, and beat that hard ass leval just like that!"

'God you guys never listen" Gilbert got off of the couch and made his way to the stairs "Nothing can compare to the awesome me!" And he walked up the stairs and out of sight.


End file.
